Astrology Reading - Recorded
1 Hour - $60
1 Hour & 30 Minutes - $85
2 Hours - $110
2 Hours & 30 Minutes - $135
A custom recorded video session on the topics of your choice
NOTE: The booking is only for blocking off time in my schedule to record your reading, there will be no live meeting for this session! You will receive your video link in 5-10 business days from the moment of your booking confirmation.
Navigation Training Academy: Your Celestial Coordinates Decoded ✨
Attention on deck, this is your Captain speaking
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Attention on deck, this is your Captain speaking ❗
Attention, Captain-in-training!
Are your cosmic coordinates more tangled than a Mercury Retrograde phone call? Is your life's trajectory looking shakier than a Libra making a decision?
Time to get your celestial bearings with a personalized star map reading that's more precise than a Virgo alphabetizing their spice rack while Mercury's in Gemini!
What to Expect During Your Mission 🎭
Your personalized cosmic briefing! Great for:
✦⠀Detailed chart exploration
✦⠀Specific question focus
✦⠀Self-paced discovery
✦⠀Perfect for "I need to watch this 17 times"
✦⠀Rewind capability (unlike actual life choices)
Your Journey Through The Stars 🌟
As Captain of your cosmic ship, you decide where we point our celestial telescope!
Mix and match for maximum sparkle!
Self & Identity
Beyond your sun sign's Instagram aesthetic
Career & Finances
Manifesting more than just "abundance vibes"
Love & Relationships
Better than your Scorpio friend's stalking skills
Family & Past Patterns
Healing deeper than your therapist's couch
Life Purpose
Bigger than a Sagittarius's travel bucket list
Other cosmic coordinates
Want to focus on specific areas? You're the Captain - I'm just your cosmic GPS!
Chart systems on deck
Natal
Chart
Your cosmic DNA - core drives and patterns
Synastry or Composite
Chart
Your relationship dynamics - the "us" in the cosmic math
Transits
Chart
Your perfect timing - when to launch that podcast/quit that job/adopt that cat
Navigation Tools
✦⠀Western astrology with Placidus system (because even the cosmos needs structure)
✦⠀Modern planetary rulers (keeping it fresh while honoring tradition)
✦⠀All major planets (yes, Pluto's still invited to this cosmic party!)
✦⠀Nodes of the Moon (your spiritual GPS coordinates) - Chiron and Lilith (because everyone's got baggage to unpack)
✦⠀Key asteroids and aspects (all the cosmic spice)
Want specific tools included? Just let your Navigation Officer know!
Here's the real cosmic tea:
Your chart isn't a life sentence - it's a transformation map! Like any good alchemist knows, the same element that creates challenge holds the key to your evolution.
Those intense Pluto aspects? They're not just about power struggles - they're your ticket to personal power. That challenging Saturn? It's not just about restrictions - it's your pathway to mastery. Every placement is a potential superpower waiting to be unlocked!
While we keep things light and joyful, this work honors:
✦⠀Your free will (always your choice to accept the energy)
✦⠀Your pace (transformation unfolds naturally)
✦⠀Your journey (no forcing or rushing)
✦⠀Your sovereignty (you're the master of your path)
The energy and intentions for the reading are always:
✦⠀For your highest good
✦⠀Aligned with divine timing
✦⠀Respectful of natural processes
✦⠀Supporting your authentic evolution
Choose Your Mission Duration 🚀
The Phoenix Nova
1 hour
For when you need answers faster than a Pisces changes emotional states in a pet video marathon!
Perfect for:
✦⠀Quick chart analysis ("Why is everything on fire?!")
✦⠀That life area making you question every decision since kindergarten
✦⠀"IS MY SOUL CONTRACT WRITTEN IN COSMIC COMIC SANS?!" purpose investigation
✦⠀Current transit analysis for why this month feels like Mercury retrograde in a blender
The Dragon Star Crossing
1.5 hours
When your celestial situation requires more investigation than your missing sock collection!
Perfect for:
✦⠀Multiple related questions more connected than a Cancer's family photo collection
✦⠀Two connected life areas (like why your career keeps interfering with your elaborate nap schedule)
✦⠀Career trajectories that aren't just "keep showing up until retirement or breakdown"
✦⠀Six-month transit planning so your next existential crisis can be properly scheduled
The Celestial Convergence
2 hours
Comprehensive chart exploration more thorough than a Capricorn's tax audit
Perfect for:
✦⠀Multi-area life exploration because EVERYTHING IS FALLING APART BUT IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER
✦⠀Chart combinations more revealing than accidentally opening your front-facing camera
✦⠀Adding relationship synastry to determine if you're actually dating your mother's chart
✦⠀Year-long transit mapping so you know exactly when to hide under your bed
The Grand Cosmic Alignment
2.5 hours
The whole enchilada, the cosmic burrito supreme, the astrological all-you-can-eat buffet!
Perfect for:
✦⠀The cosmic equivalent of binge-watching all six seasons plus the movie and the reboot
✦⠀ALL the chart techniques because your complexity requires multiple astrological languages
✦⠀Complete relationship constellation mapping for EVERYONE WHO HAS EVER MADE YOU QUESTION YOUR SANITY
✦⠀Master strategic planning combining ALL timing techniques for when you're ready to actually make decisions like an adult
Mission Examples: Who Needs A Star Map? 🌠
For Your Own Voyage
Whether you're:
✦⠀Plotting your next career move
✦⠀Navigating relationship waters
✦⠀Understanding personal patterns
✦⠀Seeking life purpose clarity
For Understanding Others
Like having a cosmic user manual for:
✦⠀Your new baby (parenting insights clearer than a 3am cry!)
✦⠀That mysterious love interest (before your Scorpio moon starts stalking their social media)
✦⠀Your teenager's current phase (beyond those Uranus opposition mood swings)
✦⠀Business partners or teammates (better than a Myers-Briggs test on steroids)
For Life's Big Moments
Perfect for:
✦⠀New parents wanting to understand their little cosmic traveler
✦⠀Couples exploring compatibility (before that U-Haul commitment)
✦⠀Teams seeking better collaboration
✦⠀Anyone navigating a major life transition
Perfect for:
✦⠀Astro-Newbies: "Is that symbol a planet or a coffee stain?"
✦⠀Cosmic Veterans: "Let's discuss how my progressed Moon's quincunx to natal Pluto is affecting my sourdough starter"
✦⠀Everyone in Between: "Why am I like this and when will it end?"
How We'll Plot Your Course 🚀
Got burning questions? Pour them into the booking form! No specific queries? No worries! I'll cover more ground than a caffeinated Aries on a mission and go over all major life areas.
1
Share Your Cosmic Coordinates
Drop your birth details in the booking form: date, time (hour and minute), and location. We need precision that would impress even a Virgo!
2
Choose Your Expedition Length
Whether you want a focused deep-dive into specific planets or a grand tour of your entire cosmic neighborhood, there’s no limit on the number of questions, just select the duration that fits your journey!
3
Choose your tools or go on autopilot
If you’re a savvy navigator, you can choose your own tools (chart type, extra celestial objects or mathematical points, adding in minor aspects etc.), or you can just kick back and focus on your questions and let your Cruise Control Commander (a.k.a me) whip up the perfect tool mix for you!
4
Bonus Cosmic Upgrade! ✨
Like a shooting star blessing your journey, I'll channel specific Source energy for your situation, translated into affirmations you can use to navigate celestial currents and transform cosmic lead into gold
5
Delivery Timing
Your personalized star map will arrive in your inbox in 5-10 moonlit nights (unless Mercury's doing that retrograde dance) from the time of your scheduled appointment. Your video link is more secure than a Scorpio's diary and has no expiration date!
6
Follow-Up Voyages
Ready for another cosmic deep-dive? Just book another reading and mention your previous coordinates in the booking form. We'll pick up where we left off, faster than a Gemini changing their mind!
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Gifting Star Maps
Want to share the cosmic wisdom? Just mention it's a gift in the booking form and provide the recipient's email. For surprise gifts, include the questions you want answered. For regular gifts, guide the recipient to submit their own questions through the Contact form (using the same email you provided).
!⠀Important: Make sure recipients know about scheduling policies and can make their appointed time!
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Meet Your Star Commander 🌟
Curious about who's manning the cosmic control panel?
Check the About section for my totally true and not-at-all exaggerated credentials, and the Ethics page for the engine room tour of our magical starship!
So, cosmic cadet, ready to voyage through your stars?
Let's translate that celestial gobbledygook into a roadmap for your stellar success!
🚀 Engage warp-drive to the Constellation Station! 🌠
FAQs
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I use Western astrology with the Placidus house system and modern sign rulership.
We look at:
✦⠀Major planets (Sun through Pluto)
✦⠀Nodes of the Moon
✦⠀Chiron and Lilith
✦⠀Key asteroids and fixed stars when relevantOther objects or settings can be included upon request.
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No prior experience or belief in astrology needed. You can approach it as:
✦⠀An intellectual exploration
✦⠀A philosophical framework
✦⠀A tool for self-reflection
✦⠀A way to understand patternsYour openness to explore is all that's needed.
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The more accurate your birth time, the more precise the reading. This is especially important for:
✦⠀House placements
✦⠀Rising sign
✦⠀Moon position if born on a day when it changed signsIf you don't have an exact time, let me know and we can work with what's available.
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Yes, with a few guidelines:
✦⠀Must have their birth details
✦⠀For adults, best to have their permission
✦⠀For children, need parent/guardian permissionRemember that everyone has free will regardless of their chart.
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Use the check-out form to mention your previous reading order number that you want me to refer to and ask your follow-up questions.
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Use the check-out form and mention it’s a gift, put in the recipient’s name and email. You can choose to give some details about their situation or point to specific areas to cover. Otherwise, if you don’t provide any details, the reading will be a general one.
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Once you place your order you can cancel or reschedule up to 72 hours before the appointment time.
You can reschedule the appointment only once. If you try to reschedule multiple times, I will cancel the appointment.
If you reschedule, you will receive your file in 5-10 business days from the time of your rescheduled appointment.
If you cancel, you will not receive your file and you will not get a refund.
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No, you cannot. I start working on your order as soon as you place it, and will not let that effort be wasted by having to start all over for a new person.
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While no topic is off-limits, remember: my advice is more "fortune cookie" than "legal document." Always consult professionals for serious matters.
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While these practices are generally gentle, you might experience:
✦⠀Insight overwhelm
✦⠀Pattern recognition surge
✦⠀Heightened emotional sensitivity
✦⠀Decision clarityWhen to Contact:
✦⠀Persistent discomfort
✦⠀Unusual reaction
✦⠀Integration questions
✦⠀Support needs
Remember, ya space cowboy:
While this cosmic data packet is more revealing than a telescope pointed at a nudist colony on Mars, and more eye-opening than discovering you're actually an Ophiuchus, it's just an entertaining star map of your potential.
*SPARKLE CORPS LEGAL MUMBO-JUMBO*
Starfleet Command will not accept responsibility for: unexpected alien abductions, accidentally plotting courses through Saturn's rings when Mercury goes retrograde, or blaming your missed deadlines on "Pluto transiting my productivity sector".
Despite what your Aquarius placements transmit to your neural pathways, Starfleet regulations recommend using your standard-issue logic circuits when making decisions, and always consulting boring - I mean, professional - experts for serious stuff.
No actual space-pirating skills, warp-drive capabilities or alien communication skills included — even Geminis can't actually talk to everyone in the galaxy simultaneously (though they'll certainly attempt it).
FINAL WARNING: If you start seeing zodiac constellations in your breakfast cereal, please report to the nearest mental recalibration station immediately!
Sparklery Mission Control signing off. Over and out, star travelers!
*STATIC CRACKLE*
P.S. If this star map doesn't leave you more charged up than a pulsar in a magnetic storm, I'll eat my captain's insignia! May your orbits be stable, your cosmic journeys ever-surprising, and your planetary transits gentle on your Earth vessel! 🚀🌠🪐✨
Love and Sparkles 💖✨,
